The Loli Union Federal Republics of Ham Federation is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Supreme Loli Leader Princess Adeline with an iron fist, and renowned for its infamous sell-swords, parental licensing program, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical population of 9.663 billion Lolis are proud of their wide-ranging civil freedoms, and those who aren't tend to be dragged off the streets by men in dark suits and hustled into cars with tinted windows.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Flemery. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 78.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Loli economy, worth a remarkable 1,175 trillion Doll Hairs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 121,603 Doll Hairs, with the richest citizens earning 5.6 times as much as the poorest.

Constipated disaster survivors are rapidly learning that MRE is short for "Meal Requiring Enemas", major cities run on potato batteries, the arms industry is strictly regulated, and street preachers spend more time condemning government bureaucracy than passers-by. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ham Federation's national animal is the Hindslavic Hog, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Lolism.

Ham Federation is ranked 17,012^th in the world and 565^th in The North Pacific for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 5,510.69 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.