The Guide in the Dark of Kainin is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Rainin with an even hand, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, ubiquitous missile silos, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 4.125 billion Kaininians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Eternal Night. The average income tax rate is 85.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Kaininian economy, worth 726 trillion Candle Waxes a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 176,084 Candle Waxes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Televangelists flaunt their expensive cars when they attend charity events, paper and ink publications are subsidised by the government to keep them in the black, sweet-toothed Kaininians have been left penniless by the VAT on candy, and open-casket funerals are avoided at all cost. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Kainin's national animal is the Christmas Bat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Athyism.

Kainin is ranked 66,529^th in the world and 1,160^th in The North Pacific for Most Patriotic, with 25.04 flags saluted per person per day.