The Free Land of Pytong is a mammoth, cultured nation, ruled by Kamil Iwo with an even hand, and renowned for its national health service, complete lack of prisons, and smutty television. The compassionate, democratic population of 6.173 billion Pytongians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kamilowo. The average income tax rate is 95.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Pytongian economy, worth a remarkable 1,174 trillion kapustas a year, is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 190,257 kapustas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Teenage TV characters are played by thirty-year-olds by the end of the second season, the mining industry has taken a hit from tighter environmental regulations, agreeing to appear on TV is often the best way to access social care, and the Super-Spud Cinematic Universe is breaking box office records. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Pytong's national animal is the python 𓆙, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Pytongism.

Pytong is ranked 102,461^st in the world and 1,602^nd in The North Pacific for Highest Drug Use, scoring 171.91 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.