The Kingdom of PlanetMercury is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by Freddie Mercury with an iron fist, and renowned for its prohibition of alcohol, zero percent divorce rate, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 14.146 billion PlanetMercuries are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kensington. The average income tax rate is 41.7%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient PlanetMercuryian economy, worth a remarkable 5,214 trillion pounds a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 368,597 pounds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Harry Potter books are banned, a cyber-war between file sharers and the music industry formats hard drives across the country, surveillance cameras are banned, and real estate agencies are being replaced by naval recruitment offices. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. PlanetMercury's national animal is the Cat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

PlanetMercury is ranked 21,788^th in the world and 648^th in The North Pacific for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 3,180.03 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.