The Democratic Republic of Kretzel is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Ruling Committee with an iron fist, and notable for its frequent executions, state-planned economy, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 1.14 billion Kretzelians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vorona. The average income tax rate is 70.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Kretzelian economy, worth 104 trillion Drammars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Book Publishing, and Tourism. Average income is 91,279 Drammars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

People can often be seen driving to work in war-surplus tanks, political spontaneity takes a lot of planning, there is a dearth of space for new houses, and there's a lot of mouth-breathers about these days. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kretzel's national animal is the European Badger, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is State atheism.

Kretzel is ranked 25,290^th in the world and 644^th in The North Pacific for Highest Poor Incomes, with 81,995.1 Standard Monetary Units.