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Feed them to the grinding wheel! Warchieftain Carolus Ironhorse
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 80thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 144thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 236th
The Sawtooth Badlands of
Iron Fist Consumerists
Influence
Nipper
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Nuke Control Cards

The Black Cathedral

Population4.428 billion

CapitalEphyra
LeaderWarchieftain Carolus Ironhorse
FaithBlackened Orthodoxy

CurrencyGallon
AnimalGormling

The Sawtooth Badlands of The Black Cathedral is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Warchieftain Carolus Ironhorse with an iron fist, and remarkable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, strictly enforced bedtime, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.428 billion Sawteeth are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Law & Order, Spirituality, and Industry also on the agenda, while International Aid and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ephyra. The average income tax rate is 95.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Sawtooth economy, worth a remarkable 1,786 trillion Gallons a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an amazing 403,420 Gallons, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.1 times as much as the poorest.

Sheep-like political loyalists repeat the mantra "one wheel bad, three wheels good", televangelists often claim they can cure your Lupus if you donate enough money, the country's famous rainforests are being bulldozed by the mining industry, and constipated-looking politicians are uptight about potty mouths. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Black Cathedral's national animal is the Gormling, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Blackened Orthodoxy.

The Black Cathedral is ranked 1,809th in the world and 99th in The North Pacific for Highest Poor Incomes, with 187,995.06 Standard Monetary Units.

Top
1%
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 80thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 144thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 236thMost Devout: 267thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 515thMost Corrupt Governments: 518thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 538thLargest Mining Sector: 596thHighest Average Incomes: 724thMost Armed: 755thLargest Agricultural Sector: 893rdLargest Black Market: 922ndMost Avoided: 1,208thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,400thHighest Poor Incomes: 1,809thLargest Insurance Industry: 2,117thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2,184thTop
5%
Largest Governments: 2,483rdHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2,923rdLowest Crime Rates: 2,949thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 3,047thFattest Citizens: 3,083rdMost Valuable International Artwork: 3,404thMost Subsidized Industry: 4,100thHighest Average Tax Rates: 4,359thMost Efficient Economies: 4,813thRudest Citizens: 7,691stHighest Economic Output: 8,747thMost Conservative: 9,144thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 10,222ndTop
10%
Most Authoritarian: 13,414thLargest Retail Industry: 14,260thMost Advanced Public Education: 15,392ndMost Developed: 15,967thMost Influential: 16,164thMost Advanced Public Transport: 17,193rd
Top
1%
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 7th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 9th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 12th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 13th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 16th in the regionMost Devout: 18th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 23rd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 25th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 26th in the regionMost Armed: 30th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 38th in the regionLargest Black Market: 42nd in the regionMost Avoided: 44th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 64th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 68th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 80th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 84th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 99th in the regionFattest Citizens: 100th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Cheese Export Sector: 123rd in the regionLargest Governments: 124th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 148th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 210th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 238th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 262nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 271st in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 339th in the regionRudest Citizens: 386th in the regionMost Conservative: 500th in the regionTop
10%
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 551st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 669th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 716th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 773rd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 814th in the regionMost Developed: 882nd in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 1,009th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in The Black Cathedral, constipated-looking politicians are uptight about potty mouths.
  • : Following new legislation in The Black Cathedral, the country's famous rainforests are being bulldozed by the mining industry.
  • : Following new legislation in The Black Cathedral, televangelists often claim they can cure your Lupus if you donate enough money.
  • : Following new legislation in The Black Cathedral, sheep-like political loyalists repeat the mantra "one wheel bad, three wheels good".
  • : Following new legislation in The Black Cathedral, workers tend to schedule naps during all-hands meetings.
  • : Following new legislation in The Black Cathedral, The Black Cathedral is increasingly belligerent on the international stage.
  • : Following new legislation in The Black Cathedral, children who can't memorize their multiplication tables are sent to the mines.
  • : Following new legislation in The Black Cathedral, tax evaders are regularly visited by agents of the The Black Cathedral Blood Tithe.
  • : Following new legislation in The Black Cathedral, kindergartners love the free balloons that their schools give them.
  • : Following new legislation in The Black Cathedral, 13-year-old internet trolls are treated as a threat on par with terrorists.

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