The Republic of Old Emporia is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Elizabeth with an even hand, and remarkable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, ban on automobiles, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, hard-working population of 9.407 billion Old Emporians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Rapture. The average income tax rate is 51.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Old Emporian economy, worth a remarkable 1,089 trillion dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 115,848 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The countryside is shrouded by wind farms, the military maintains a fierce arsenal of 'Cure Missiles', party leaders rely on horoscopes to create "ticket balance", and stoned tourists don't tend to remember much about their holidays here. Crime is totally unknown. Old Emporia's national animal is the Crow, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Old Emporia is ranked 16,700^th in the world and 889^th in The North Pacific for Smartest Citizens, with 69.2 quips per hour.