The Republic of Old Emporia is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Elizabeth with an even hand, and remarkable for its smutty television, aversion to nipples, and keen interest in outer space. The compassionate, hard-working population of 5.086 billion Old Emporians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The relatively small, corrupt government prioritizes Education, with Industry, Social Policy, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Rapture. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 22.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Old Emporian economy, worth 641 trillion dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 126,168 dollars, with the richest citizens earning 8.3 times as much as the poorest.

The countryside is shrouded by wind farms, the military maintains a fierce arsenal of 'Cure Missiles', party leaders rely on horoscopes to create "ticket balance", and stoned tourists don't tend to remember much about their holidays here. Crime is totally unknown. Old Emporia's national animal is the Crow, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Old Emporia is ranked 17,097^th in the world and 1,035^th in The North Pacific for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring 6,632.8 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.