The Stoopid McDumface of The Northern Ice is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Nori with an iron fist, and remarkable for its avant-garde cinema, vat-grown people, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, cynical population of 1.255 billion Citizens are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Law & Order, with Defense, Education, and Administration also on the agenda, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ice Cube City. The average income tax rate is 69.3%.

The all-consuming Northern Icean economy, worth 132 trillion Euros a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Trout Farming, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 105,623 Euros, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.9 times as much as the poorest.

Lawyers turn down litigation cases and corporate work in order to focus on lucrative public defence work, plain-clothes police officers follow Dàguó tourists everywhere they go, the government is a proud sponsor of the National Gaming Association, and theoretical science is only theoretical. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Northern Ice's national animal is the Arctic Fox, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace.

The Northern Ice is ranked 288,301^st in the world and 5,102^nd in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -223.88 on the Scary Big Number Scale.