The Most Serene Republic of Elephant Bill Land is a titanic, socially progressive nation, ruled by Babar Zphant with a fair hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, complete lack of prisons, and keen interest in outer space. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 13.225 billion Elephant Bill Landians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Trunktonia. The average income tax rate is 92.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Elephant Bill Landian economy, worth a remarkable 1,871 trillion Francs a year, is highly specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 141,484 Francs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Community organizers have given up going door to door because nobody is home, one can wake up in Elephant Bill Land and have breakfast in Bigtopia, museum visitors often bring lemons and black lights, and the numbers on the latest spending report are reaching stellar levels. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Elephant Bill Land's national animal is the Elephant, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Elephant Bill Land is ranked 291,213^th in the world and 4,338^th in The North Pacific for Fattest Citizens, with 5.55 Obesity Rate.