The United Incorporated States of Laxoimia is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by President Jonathan Bernhardt with an even hand, and remarkable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and public floggings. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 13.923 billion Laxomese are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dellmoor. The average income tax rate is 82.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Laxoimian economy, worth a remarkable 3,159 trillion Laxoimia Dollars a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 226,917 Laxoimia Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

War vets look after war animals, some of the country's most famous photographers are animals, the government has announced its plans to construct a giant weaponised robot-cat, and most ambassadors from Laxoimia retire only a few years after being appointed. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Laxoimia's national animal is the Laxoimia Flying Parrot Fish, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Christianity.

Laxoimia is ranked 313,115^th in the world and 5,881^st in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -671.21 on the Scary Big Number Scale.