The Imperium of Velon is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by SQUEE with an even hand, and remarkable for its anti-smoking policies, strictly enforced bedtime, and complete absence of social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 45.848 billion velonians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small government is effectively ruled by the Department of Education, with Environment, Healthcare, and Public Transport also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Defense receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of poopopolis. The average income tax rate is 8.1%.

The frighteningly efficient velonian economy, worth an astonishing 11,152 trillion donut holes a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is an amazing 243,250 donut holes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

All the playground's a stage for velonian schoolchildren, ignorance is considered a politically desirable quality, the dessert 'Death by Chocolate' isn't the most lethal dish on the menu, and child labor has been outlawed. Crime is totally unknown. Velon's national animal is the piggus chonkus, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Velon is ranked 10,002^nd in the world and 614^th in Balder for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 5,527.7 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.