The United Socialist States of Span is a behemoth, socially progressive nation, ruled by M Shobacus Maz with a fair hand, and renowned for its infamous sell-swords, hatred of cheese, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 51.262 billion Spanners are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The medium-sized, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Maz. The average income tax rate is 97.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Spanner economy, worth an astonishing 15,887 trillion spannies a year, is highly specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 309,928 spannies, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government is funding experimental battery technology while the power grid continues to crumble, a little love goes a long way claim Spanner news, the government funds large training centres to turn donkeys into functioning members of society, and the sanitised and dull music festivals of Span are famed for their reasonable volume levels. Crime is totally unknown. Span's national animal is the donkey, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Span is ranked 307,993^rd in the world and 4,710^th in The North Pacific for Fattest Citizens, with 0.86 Obesity Rate.