The United Socialist States of Span is a behemoth, efficient nation, ruled by M Shobacus Maz with a fair hand, and renowned for its complete lack of prisons, compulsory vegetarianism, and national health service. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 51.522 billion Spanners are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The medium-sized, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Maz. The average income tax rate is 97.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Spanner economy, worth an astonishing 15,978 trillion spannies a year, is highly specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 310,135 spannies, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Elections demand a proportionate response, confessions don't count if suffixed with "izzle", bemused citizens are encouraged to sing foreign-language hymns of religions they have never heard of, and political spontaneity takes a lot of planning. Crime is totally unknown. Span's national animal is the donkey, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Span is ranked 314,390^th in the world and 4,724^th in The North Pacific for Most Secular, with 0.63 Atheism Rate.