The Republic of CheeseBurrito is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Big Cheese with a fair hand, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and spontaneously combusting cars. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 3.612 billion CheeseBurritoans live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cheesetopia. The average income tax rate is 26.3%.

The frighteningly efficient CheeseBurritoan economy, worth 812 trillion dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Soda Sales, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 225,003 dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.5 times as much as the poorest.

The morbidly obese often sell stock options on their own corpses, political speeches that drill deep into bureaucratic fine detail could be said to be a little boring, refugees from other nations are flocking to CheeseBurrito's border, and drivers regularly pull over for nonexistent police cars. Crime is almost non-existent. CheeseBurrito's national animal is the swan, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

CheeseBurrito is ranked 204,244^th in the world and 8,020^th in The East Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -579.32 on the Scary Big Number Scale.