The Future is Bleak Because of La Xinga is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by big cheeks with an iron fist, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, public floggings, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 7.909 billion cheek are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Healthcare, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of hell. The average income tax rate is 87.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient cheek economy, worth 928 trillion hugs a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is an impressive 117,428 hugs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

There has been a series of riots between local cannibals and health food advocates, a passport is literally priceless, savvy students quote paywalled research knowing that university lecturers can't afford to check the citations, and children have taken to using semaphore in light of the recent mobile phone ban. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. La Xinga's national animal is the cheek, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is who has that.

La Xinga is ranked 35,252^nd in the world and 436^th in The East Pacific for Most Patriotic, with 39.62 flags saluted per person per day.