The Caliphate of Packilvania is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Noi with an iron fist, and remarkable for its anti-smoking policies, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 42.43 billion Packilvanians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Law & Order, Education, and Healthcare are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hikaruton. The average income tax rate is 99.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Packilvanian economy, worth an astonishing 12,606 trillion Packels a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 297,105 Packels, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The Hikaruton Film Festival recently voted 'Packilvanian Getting Hit By Football' as best film, children's bedrooms are often decorated with posters of successful accountants, contestants on Packilvania's Got Talent are screened by the government to make sure that they actually have talent, and students learn how to disarm mines before understanding basic arithmetic. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Packilvania's national animal is the Arkane, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Packilvania is ranked 315,087^th in the world and 5,182^nd in The East Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -897.1 on the Scary Big Number Scale.