The Caliphate of Packilvania is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Noi with an iron fist, and notable for its anti-smoking policies, parental licensing program, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 41.087 billion Packilvanians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Law & Order, Education, and Healthcare are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hikaruton. The average income tax rate is 99.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Packilvanian economy, worth an astonishing 12,354 trillion Packels a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 300,695 Packels, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Citizens know never to accept cookies from strangers, libraries are now installed with jacuzzis and mini-bars, kindergartners' favourite dance move is the stop-drop-and-roll, and the Hikaruton Film Festival recently voted 'Packilvanian Getting Hit By Football' as best film. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Packilvania's national animal is the Arkane, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Packilvania is ranked 1,271^st in the world and 25^th in The East Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 161.65 law-abiding acts per hour.