The Compassionate Republic of Headpat Central is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Leader with a fair hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, soft-spoken computers, and anti-smoking policies. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 15.939 billion Headpat Centralians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Headpat City. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Headpat Centralian economy, worth a remarkable 4,250 trillion florins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. Average income is an amazing 266,667 florins, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Tombstones are ten feet high to accommodate the names of inhabitants, Headpat City University is said to be the modern-day Tower of Babel, women give birth underneath so many blankets that the doctor can't feel the bump, and fifteen-year-olds cannot walk younger siblings to school without a professional Childcare and Education Certificate. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Headpat Central's national animal is the fox, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Headpat Central is ranked 28,546^th in the world and 361^st in The East Pacific for Most Patriotic, with 44.27 flags saluted per person per day.