The Compassionate Republic of Headpat Central is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Leader with a fair hand, and renowned for its state-planned economy, daily referendums, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 10.981 billion Headpat Centralians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Headpat City. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Headpat Centralian economy, worth a remarkable 2,814 trillion florins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. Average income is an amazing 256,337 florins, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Passive-aggressive congratulations cards inform mums-to-be that their pregnancy is their greatest achievement in life, citizens are strongly encouraged to breathe less so as to limit the carbon footprint, kindergartners' favourite dance move is the stop-drop-and-roll, and government policy is dictated by a major religion. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Headpat Central's national animal is the fox, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Headpat Central is ranked 250,940^th in the world and 11,137^th in The East Pacific for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring -7.59 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.