The Militariat Republic of Merlovich is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Ali MacKillop with an even hand, and renowned for its otherworldly petting zoo, smutty television, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, democratic, humorless population of 3.666 billion Merlovichans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, although Education, Industry, and Law & Order are also considered important, while Spirituality is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Melbourne. The average income tax rate is 79.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Merlovichian economy, worth 547 trillion Merlovichan Dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 149,388 Merlovichan Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Parents who refuse to vaccinate their children are given a short jail sentence, pallbearers at military funerals dive for cover when they hear the three-volley salute, gossip magazines have pictures of Ali MacKillop sunbathing on the beach with political rivals, and reporters often lose their jobs over fact-checking errors. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Merlovich's national animal is the Kangaroo, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities, and its national religion is Christianity.

Merlovich is ranked 199,427^th in the world and 7,891^st in The East Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -399.03 on the Scary Big Number Scale.