The Colony of Tea Jol is a mammoth, cultured nation, ruled by DJ Moyer with an even hand, and notable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, complete lack of prisons, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cheerful population of 9.719 billion Tea Jolians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Snake Island. The average income tax rate is 90.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Tea Jolian economy, worth a remarkable 2,240 trillion kronor a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Retail. Average income is an amazing 230,563 kronor, with the richest citizens earning 5.1 times as much as the poorest.

A primitive society is being eroded as its youth flock to the modern world, bouncers at the door of the sweet shop warn five-year-olds not to cause trouble, the nation's democracy attracts huddled masses yearning to breathe free, and sales of disinfectant wipes have skyrocketed. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tea Jol's national animal is the Boa constrictor, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Tea Jol is ranked 144,775^th in the world and 2,084^th in The East Pacific for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring 948.37 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.