The Holy Empire of New New New Alabama is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by William Williams with an iron fist, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, ban on automobiles, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.195 billion New New New Alabamans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Healthcare, and Industry also on the agenda, while Social Policy receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New New New Montgomery. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 76.9%.

The frighteningly efficient New New New Alabaman economy, worth a remarkable 1,191 trillion Stepsisters a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 192,278 Stepsisters, with the richest citizens earning 7.8 times as much as the poorest.

Common misteaks slip threw as the Issues Editing Team adds issues by the hundread (New New New Alabama has found 3 easter eggs), nobody expected the fruit inquisition, there is no such thing as an innocent fling in the New New New Alabaman military, and casino tax breaks are even bigger than their jackpots. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New New New Alabama's national animal is the Fried Chicken, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Jesus.

New New New Alabama is ranked 7,507^th in the world and 147^th in The North Pacific for Most Corrupt Governments, with 181.11 kickbacks per hour.