The Holy Empire of An Clar is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Gaius Melkor with an iron fist, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, public floggings, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 41.651 billion Clarians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Healthcare also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Inis. The income tax rate is 100%.

The strong Clarian economy, worth an astonishing 10,609 trillion banner yoyoes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is mostly made up of the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an amazing 254,717 banner yoyoes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Starving citizens are offered nuclear pasta, busy commuters no longer hear the cries of "I want some more!" on the nation's streets, pet loving officers arrest citizens who don't give their dogs enough biscuits, and citizens are expected to be proficient in at least five languages. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. An Clar's national animal is the magpie, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Melkorianism.

An Clar is ranked 1,661^st in the world and 41^st in Europe for Most Cultured, scoring 289 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.