The Holy Empire of An Clar is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Gaius Melkor with an iron fist, and remarkable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, compulsory military service, and national health service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 29.648 billion Clarians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Education, and Healthcare are also considered important, while International Aid is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Inis. The income tax rate is 100%.

The strong Clarian economy, worth a remarkable 6,638 trillion banner yoyoes a year, is quite specialized and mostly made up of the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Information Technology. Average income is an amazing 223,917 banner yoyoes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.7 times as much as the poorest.

Many believe that Gaius Melkor's head is big enough for the sun to orbit around it, people often feel unbalanced by their daily commute, Gaius Melkor's peyote-induced "let's all just be friends" speech is trending world-wide, and baby dolls thrown in the trash are a leading cause of panic attacks. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. An Clar's national animal is the magpie, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Melkorianism.

An Clar is ranked 28,354^th in the world and 126^th in Europe for Highest Drug Use, scoring 103.4 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.