The Republic of Etnon is a mammoth, genial nation, ruled by Peigi Åland with a fair hand, and renowned for its national health service, hatred of cheese, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 7.899 billion Etnonians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, socially-minded, outspoken government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Santana. The average income tax rate is 95.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Etnonian economy, worth 791 trillion Euros a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is an impressive 100,230 Euros, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Carbon-footprint restrictions are making businesses walk, captains must wait until all rats are safe before jumping ship, the space program has been scrapped in order to focus on more terrestrial pursuits, and kids who move from attending a public school in the city to the country often struggle in goat milking class. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Etnon's national animal is the Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Etnon is ranked 308,943^rd in the world and 873^rd in Europe for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -20.05 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.