The Grand Duchy of The Seven Provinces is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Spurdo Spärde with a fair hand, and renowned for its unlimited-speed roads, smutty television, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 18.757 billion Seven Provincians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The medium-sized, outspoken government prioritizes Education, although Environment, Industry, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Spirituality and Defense are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Benishof. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 73.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Seven Provincian economy, worth a remarkable 3,521 trillion colombian flakes a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Information Technology, and Retail. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 187,765 colombian flakes, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 555,818 per year while the poor average 49,821, a ratio of 11.2 to 1.

Films are funded in accordance with the volume of tears shed when reading the screenplay, grannies get pulled over for knitting pullovers while driving, drug lords often avoid prison time by teaching "chemistry" classes to underprivileged youth, and paraplegics are told to walk it off. Crime is totally unknown. The Seven Provinces's national animal is the pædobär, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Benism.

The Seven Provinces is ranked 206,692^nd in the world and 1,006^th in Europe for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring -13.07 on the Hickory Productivity Index.