The Grand Duchy of The Seven Provinces is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Spurdo Spärde with a fair hand, and notable for its public floggings, unlimited-speed roads, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 20.59 billion Seven Provincians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, pro-business government prioritizes Education, although Environment, Industry, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Spirituality and Law & Order aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Benishof. The average income tax rate is 53.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Seven Provincian economy, worth a remarkable 4,489 trillion colombian flakes a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Retail. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an amazing 218,061 colombian flakes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.8 times as much as the poorest.

Terrified neighbors cower behind concertina wire and machine gun nests, city budgets are spent entirely on supporting the town royalty, cremation is compulsory for the deceased, and the government extracts trade concessions from poor nations in exchange for humanitarian aid. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. The Seven Provinces's national animal is the pædobär, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Benism.

The Seven Provinces is ranked 2,518^th in the world and 31^st in Europe for Highest Economic Output, with 4,489 trillion Standard Monetary Units.