The Most Serene Realm of Peoples of Celliwig is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by His Majesty's Blessed Regent with an iron fist, and remarkable for its national health service, ubiquitous missile silos, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.584 billion Nordasians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Agartha. The average income tax rate is 90.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Celliwigian economy, worth a remarkable 1,123 trillion Rapats a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 245,031 Rapats, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

It is said that the captain goes down with the ship but ecological protection goes up, weather forecasts are accurate but nobody has the bandwidth to view them, riot police are stationed around paintings of violent protestors, and the nation is ravaged by daily union strikes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Celliwig's national animal is the Golden Eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Finalis Intellectus.

Celliwig is ranked 95,300^th in the world and 237^th in Europe for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring 2,136.58 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.