The Armed Republic of Zaelith is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Lexi Zaelin with an iron fist, and notable for its compulsory military service, smutty television, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 6.49 billion Zaelithians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Zael. The average income tax rate is 3.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Zaelithian economy, worth a remarkable 1,683 trillion Zils a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Gambling. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an amazing 259,360 Zils, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.7 times as much as the poorest.

Belief that Lexi Zaelin is a lizard-person from outer space has reached an all-time high, census workers struggle to account for the rapidly increasing number of citizens to tabulate, a cat may look at a king and a dude can look at an ass, and studio executives abandon tragic stories of star-crossed lovers because "it's been done". Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Zaelith's national animal is the Roadkill, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Zaelinthia.

Zaelith is ranked 1,912^th in the world and 49^th in the South Pacific for Lowest Overall Tax Burden, scoring 171.6 on the Hayek Index.