The Republic of Ralphburg is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Ralph J Russell with an iron fist, and remarkable for its public floggings, national health service, and rampant corporate plagiarism. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 9.216 billion Ralphburgers are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ralphburg. The average income tax rate is 21.2%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Ralphburgian economy, worth a remarkable 2,537 trillion Dogecoins a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 275,327 Dogecoins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

The country's population is reported with a margin of error of several billions, skyscrapers get built in just days, one-stop superstores divide and conquer family businesses, and school history books often refer to Ralph J Russell as "that imperialist pig dog". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ralphburg's national animal is the big smoldog, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Ralphburg is ranked 6,970^th in the world and 164^th in the South Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 108.6 law-abiding acts per hour.