The Grand Republic of Havenwelle is a titanic, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Kevin Burke with an even hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, smutty television, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 24.326 billion Havenwelleans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Grand Haven. The average income tax rate is 4.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Havenwellean economy, worth a remarkable 4,917 trillion Havs a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Information Technology, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 202,162 Havs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.4 times as much as the poorest.

New "Commiserations! It's An Accident!" greetings cards for expectant mothers are selling surprisingly quickly, jails have become colloquially known as 'vampire houses', internet moderators work overtime to remove memes comparing Kevin Burke to cartoon bears, and the government-run newspapers insist that everything is fine. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Havenwelle's national animal is the Brittany Spaniel, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is The Church of Havenwelle.

Havenwelle is ranked 171^st in the world and 7^th in the South Pacific for Most Developed, scoring 100.1 on the Human Development Index.