The Trans-Universal Empire of The African Emirates is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Ernest with a fair hand, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, ubiquitous missile silos, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The compassionate, democratic population of 14.36 billion Emiratians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Emiratia-3. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Emiratian economy, worth a remarkable 4,758 trillion Qis a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an amazing 331,384 Qis, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Teach an angler how to phish and he can make a living, penny whistles have been rebranded 'tin hornpipes', trade policy consists of ganging up on the new guy, and a sledgehammer and a spray can are seen as the default tools of political debate. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The African Emirates's national animal is the Emiratian Elephant, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Atheism.

The African Emirates is ranked 293,338^th in the world and 857^th in 10000 Islands for Most Primitive, scoring -1640.23 on the Scary Big Number Scale.