The Commonwealth of Herfenzir is a massive, efficient nation, renowned for its enslaved workforce, ubiquitous missile silos, and anti-smoking policies. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 1.702 billion Herfenzirians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Healthcare, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 26.5%.

The very strong Herfenzirian economy, worth 188 trillion Zerfs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 110,721 Zerfs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.2 times as much as the poorest.

Citizens know never to accept cookies from strangers, disadvantaged youths often commit felonies to enhance their educational prospects, Leader claims to be the epitome of family values, and kindergartners' favourite dance move is the stop-drop-and-roll. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Herfenzir's national animal is the Blobfish, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways.

Herfenzir is ranked 220,623^rd in the world and 1,330^th in 10000 Islands for Highest Drug Use, scoring 24.4 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.