The Most Earexplodian Realm of Ear Exploder 9000 is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by Emperor Joseph Average XVIII with an iron fist, and notable for its strictly enforced bedtime, state-planned economy, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 11.076 billion Earexplodians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Industry is also considered important, while Spirituality and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cacophonia. The average income tax rate is 95.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Earexplodian economy, worth a remarkable 3,533 trillion decibels a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 319,059 decibels, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.1 times as much as the poorest.

Historical commemorations regularly devolve into militaristic jingoism, children are often punished for the sins of the fathers, tourists are kicked out if they express interest in their national sport, and billions of decibels are being blown on orbital weapons development. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ear Exploder 9000's national animal is the Joeaveragian Pike, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Joeism.

Ear Exploder 9000 is ranked 244,772^nd in the world and 222^nd in Refugia for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 188.42 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.