The Federal Republic of Turnips is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Charles Turnip Townshend with an even hand, and renowned for its teetotalling pirates, irreverence towards religion, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate population of 4.025 billion Turnips are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tumshire. The average income tax rate is 83.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Turnipain economy, worth 578 trillion Carrets a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Trout Farming. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 143,767 Carrets, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government single-handedly sustains the bunk bed market, The Pipe Bomb Makers' Pop-Up Book can be found in preschool libraries, the nation has nearly as many history museums as Turnips, and glancing at the car radio display while driving is treated as attempted homicide. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Turnips's national animal is the Rotabagge, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Turnips is ranked 290,165^th in the world and 4,313^th in The North Pacific for Fattest Citizens, with 5.6 Obesity Rate.