The Democratic Republic of Kolaysland is a very large, genial nation, remarkable for its compulsory military service, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 328 million Kolays have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Engelsburg. The average income tax rate is 32.4%.

The Kolayslandian economy, worth 17.6 trillion Kolays rupiahs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Furniture Restoration, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 53,707 Kolays rupiahs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.4 times as much as the poorest.

The saying 'break a leg' is now taken literally, prisoners can't do number twos without their "toilet buddy" present, the government is making attempts at curtailing the flood of spam emails with little progress, and Kolaysland has been recently classified as an international menace after 'liberating' several nearby territories. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Kolaysland's national animal is the Scharfschnabel, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Kolaysland is ranked 177,736^th in the world and 2,555^th in The North Pacific for Fattest Citizens, with 9.67 Obesity Rate.