The Matriarchy of Sallylandia is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by the Supreme Matriarch with a fair hand, and renowned for its sprawling nuclear power plants, frequent executions, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 6.632 billion Sallylandians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kazhmir. The average income tax rate is 74.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Sallylandian economy, worth 634 trillion shells a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 95,730 shells, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Citizens recently voted in favour of declaring bubblewrap an 'abomination of nature', Sallylandian diplomacy is by the book, male friends are often accompanied by a female relative in order to prove their 'straightness', and cash-strapped politicians frequently host bake sales to fund their campaigns. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Sallylandia's national animal is the snail, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Sallylandia is ranked 265,893^rd in the world and 4,649^th in The East Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -217.19 on the Scary Big Number Scale.