The Absolute Psychotic Republic of Jaslo is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Ola Zych with an iron fist, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, prohibition of alcohol, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 7.882 billion Jasloans are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Gdynia. The average income tax rate is 81.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Jasloan economy, worth 968 trillion Dinar Jasloans a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Basket Weaving, and Cheese Exports. Average income is an impressive 122,916 Dinar Jasloans, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

CSI Forest is this year's hit new crime show, scientists who publish a non-reproducible result are tarred and feathered, foreign leaders' Twitcher accounts are monitored for potential threats to national security, and the best way to get the government to U-turn is to squick out Ola Zych. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Jaslo's national animal is the Águila, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Atheism.

Jaslo is ranked 243,252^nd in the world and 524^th in Europe for Fattest Citizens, with 7.72 Obesity Rate.