The Loyal and Watchful Guardian of Saharan Sappho is a mammoth, safe nation, ruled by High Lesbian Sappho XVIII with an iron fist, and notable for its state-planned economy, compulsory military service, and punitive income tax rates. The cynical, devout population of 5.39 billion Sapphics are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Law & Order, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of East Lesbos. The average income tax rate is 68.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but sluggish Sapphic economy, worth 153 trillion Rainbow Drachmas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Book Publishing, and Cheese Exports. Average income is 28,504 Rainbow Drachmas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Saharan Sappho has designated East Lesbos as its capital city, Sapphic novella fans become unusually flustered when thinking about High Lesbian Sappho XVIII, the fattest folk in Saharan Sappho look to be the happiest ones, and student athletes gaze forlornly at abandoned Broom Haired Camelball fields. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Saharan Sappho's national animal is the Broom Haired Camel, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Sapphism.

Saharan Sappho is ranked 163,979^th in the world and 6,238^th in Osiris for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 274.83 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.