The Illyrian Brotherhood of Bartratina is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Gigi Gvardija with an even hand, and remarkable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, triple-decker prams, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 8.922 billion Illyrians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Industry also on the agenda, while International Aid is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bijeljina. The average income tax rate is 89.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Bartratinan economy, worth a remarkable 2,041 trillion Zastavas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Soda Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 228,788 Zastavas, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Black gold is looking more brown these days, the government throws money at problems when in a jam, speeches have been enlivened since Gigi Gvardija started spitting bars, and the 'sing-a-long with Gigi Gvardija' album is a popular souvenir. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bartratina's national animal is the Lynx, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Orthodox Christianity.

Bartratina is ranked 39,872^nd in the world and 1,787^th in Osiris for Smartest Citizens, with 49.03 quips per hour.