The Republic of Platino is a colossal, genial nation, remarkable for its national health service, irreverence towards religion, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 5.163 billion Platinoans hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Platino. The average income tax rate is 42.1%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Platinoan economy, worth a remarkable 1,452 trillion Onzas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Retail, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an amazing 281,412 Onzas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Literature classes frequently go on field trips to rock concerts, a National Academy regulates grammar and usage, the Federal Council of Platino has been announced as the new Head of State, and more sidewalk is dedicated to animals than people. Crime is totally unknown. Platino's national animal is the Gato, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Platino is ranked 291,764^th in the world and 5,485^th in the South Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -821.58 on the Scary Big Number Scale.