The Republic of Salo Pal Malakel is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, renowned for its museums and concert halls, complete lack of prisons, and soft-spoken computers. The compassionate, democratic population of 3.521 billion Salo Pal Malakelians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. The average income tax rate is 92.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Salo Pal Malakelian economy, worth 572 trillion pounds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 162,689 pounds, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Lifelong celibates are surprised to receive government-issue condoms in the post, apples shaped like baguettes have become a strange new food fad, Leader is considering changing the Salo Pal Malakelian flag to one with more glitter, and escalators are avoided at all costs. Crime is totally unknown. Salo Pal Malakel's national animal is the turtle, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Salo Pal Malakel is ranked 6,272^nd in the world and 119^th in Europe for Highest Poor Incomes, with 151,358.05 Standard Monetary Units.