The Zephyrs of Zerph is a mammoth, safe nation, ruled by Crow Wononine with an even hand, and notable for its frequent executions, ubiquitous missile silos, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, democratic population of 5.03 billion Zerphii are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 48.3%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but underdeveloped Zerphii economy, worth 225 trillion zecks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology, Uranium Mining, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 44,859 zecks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

Workers' complaints never reach central planning, everyone suspects that everyone else is a terrorist, senior citizens are often found slaving away in factories, and search and rescue forces now accept cheques and all major credit cards. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Zerph's national animal is the crow, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Zerph is ranked 179,289^th in the world and 316^th in Starlight for Fattest Citizens, with 9.65 Obesity Rate.