The Mystical Isles of Dutchyland is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Dutchy with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, infamous sell-swords, and conspicuous electricity pylons. The compassionate, cheerful population of 30.254 billion Dutchylandians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dutchopolis. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Dutchylandian economy, worth a remarkable 9,781 trillion Dutchers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Information Technology. Average income is an amazing 323,307 Dutchers, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

People with dyslexia are told to tough through it, no one engages in 'locker room talk' any more, art is not complete without a touch of alizarin blood and titanium sweat, and Dutchylandian scientists are mixing chewing tobacco with bacon flavouring in an attempt to craft the perfect male snack. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Dutchyland's national animal is the Dutchay, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Dutchyland is ranked 281^st in the world and 7^th in The North Pacific for Most Cultured, scoring 631 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.