The Democratic Republic of Suomalainem is a titanic, cultured nation, ruled by Suo with a fair hand, and notable for its teetotalling pirates, smutty television, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic population of 12.362 billion Suomalese have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dāburīn. The average income tax rate is 70.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Suomalese economy, worth 991 trillion Konasawas a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 80,193 Konasawas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Helping grandma with her Misgendering 101 homework is a national rite of passage, movement-triggered sensors mean that for every door that closes another one opens, organ donation rates are among the lowest in the region, and government expenses are beyond compare. Crime is totally unknown. Suomalainem's national animal is the Marmot, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Kirisutokyō.

Suomalainem is ranked 142,218^th in the world and 52^nd in Karma for Largest Black Market, with 1.29 trillion Standard Monetary Units.