The Most Serene Republic of Eternal Phoenix is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Jon with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, strictly enforced bedtime, and ubiquitous missile silos. The compassionate, cheerful population of 28.902 billion Eternal Phoenixians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Social Policy. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Eden. The average income tax rate is 99.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Eternal Phoenixian economy, worth a remarkable 5,827 trillion jalims a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 201,622 jalims, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The Treasury has been accused of flushing money down the toilet, counselors have to sign pledges supporting gay rights before they can speak to any patients, biology and religious education classes have recently been merged, and the housing market has collapsed like an overbaked Brancalandian souffle. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Eternal Phoenix's national animal is the dragon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Druidism.

Eternal Phoenix is ranked 2,564^th in the world and 85^th in the Rejected Realms for Lowest Crime Rates, with 135.66 law-abiding acts per hour.