The Serene Republic of Triestine is a gargantuan, cultured nation, remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, pith helmet sales, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic population of 16.237 billion Triestines are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cyeze. The average income tax rate is 90.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Triestini economy, worth a remarkable 2,000 trillion Kalls a year, is highly specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 123,193 Kalls, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Army doctors who come under attack defend themselves by using stethoscopes like nunchaku, the mood of raunchy movies is often ruined by the sound of babies crying, the parliament building has installed a revolving door, and flipping a coin to make a decision leads to a referral to Gambling Addiction Services. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Triestine's national animal is the Penguin, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Triestine is ranked 7,964^th in the world and 147^th in the West Pacific for Highest Food Quality, scoring 176.2 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.