The Holy Black Sea Empire of Schardonia is a mammoth, cultured nation, ruled by Cecylia Rzeczkowcka with an iron fist, and renowned for its zero percent divorce rate, compulsory military service, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 5.686 billion Schardonians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, with Industry, Education, and Administration also on the agenda, while International Aid and Spirituality receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Menara. The average income tax rate is 82.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Schardonian economy, worth a remarkable 1,689 trillion Ingots a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an amazing 297,095 Ingots, with the richest citizens earning 5.0 times as much as the poorest.

The nation frequently scolds its subject territories for staying up past bedtime, it's entirely possible foreign diplomats misheard when Schardonia offered the words "peace be upon you", Dàguó is simultaneously dead and alive, and birdsong in the mountains has to be loud enough to drown out nearby jackhammers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Schardonia's national animal is the Armadillo, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Roman Catholicism.

Schardonia is ranked 948^th in the world and 7^th in Christians for Largest Manufacturing Sector, scoring 107,498.62 on the Gooback-Jerbs Productivity Index.