The Covenantal Commonwealth of Burnt Pines is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Warden of State with an iron fist, and notable for its unlimited-speed roads, prohibition of alcohol, and zero percent divorce rate. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 3.089 billion Burnt Folks are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Emberhold. The average income tax rate is 69.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Burnt Pinesian economy, worth 258 trillion Pine Scrips a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is 83,532 Pine Scrips, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Vacationers and business travelers are often warned that they may lose the right to vote if they spend too much time overseas, fraternities are rejoicing at government-subsidized partying, the government is a clear-cut case of tyranny by majority, and love means always having to say you're sorry. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Burnt Pines's national animal is the Northland Stag, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is The Way.

Burnt Pines is ranked 66,485^th in the world and 136^th in Christians for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 1,813.72 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.