The Theocracy of Thelank is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, remarkable for its smutty television, absence of drug laws, and suspicion of poets. The hard-working, democratic population of 1.696 billion Thelankians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The relatively small government prioritizes Welfare, with Education, Defense, and Administration also on the agenda, while Law & Order and Industry are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Likant. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 9.6%.

The strong Thelankian economy, worth 94.7 trillion gferans a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Retail, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is 55,855 gferans, with the richest citizens earning 8.2 times as much as the poorest.

Anyone claiming to be a messiah is promptly put to death, a surprisingly large portion of the national budget is allocated to purchasing MMORPG "Elite Gold Loot Boxes", welfare recipients are milking the government for all they've got, and Leader has just been declared ruler of Thelank in an international press conference. Crime is a problem, probably because of the absence of a police force. Thelank's national animal is the giraffe, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Thelank is ranked 142,286^th in the world and 303^rd in Starlight for Highest Average Incomes, with 55,855.67 Standard Monetary Units.