The United States of Koboldtopia is a massive, safe nation, remarkable for its anti-smoking policies, absence of drug laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate population of 4.634 billion Koboldtopians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, liberal, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 85.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient Koboldtopian economy, worth 214 trillion kernals a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Cheese Exports and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Average income is 46,331 kernals, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Older citizens lament over the loss of law and order, the Violetist community celebrates bombshells being dropped on Koboldtopia, children as young as six shock their parents by coming out of the closet, and the banshee wail foretells skies of death. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Koboldtopia's national animal is the kobold, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Koboldtopia is ranked 22,886^th in the world and 541^st in The Communist Bloc for Highest Food Quality, scoring 107.81 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.