The Melancholious Sacrosanct of Itsalaphap is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Solemniously Nakboun Matriarchs with a fair hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, rampant corporate plagiarism, and daily referendums. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 1.107 billion Phouangdokmai are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sathalanalat Capitals and Xiangladouboun. The average income tax rate is 90.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Dokmai economy, worth 136 trillion Decentralized Bank Currencies or Ikeungs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 123,492 Decentralized Bank Currencies or Ikeungs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Children dream of becoming physicians and physicists, enemy agents are generally eliminated with extreme prejudice, the government is pouring money into 'Operation Enduring Democracy', and burning twigs to keep warm while lost in the wild is now a felony. Crime is totally unknown. Itsalaphap's national animal is the Ikaphidip aka Necroblooded Crow, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Local Folk Religions and Latthi Banxun.

Itsalaphap is ranked 4,266^th in the world and 117^th in The Leftist Assembly for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 6,852.63 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.