The Commonwealth of Allwarts is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by President Warton with an even hand, and renowned for its frequent executions, infamous sell-swords, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cheerful population of 25.016 billion Allwartsians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Wartovia. The average income tax rate is 1.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Allwartsian economy, worth a remarkable 5,346 trillion Warts a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Retail. Average income is an amazing 213,707 Warts, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.2 times as much as the poorest.

The government struggles to keep up with the endless list of petrol disasters, belief that President Warton is a lizard-person from outer space has reached an all-time high, in a desperate bid for cheap airfare Allwartsians can be seen jogging in a rubber suit just before flying, and sections of the police receive paramilitary training. Crime, especially youth-related, is almost non-existent. Allwarts's national animal is the Warthog, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The Church of the All Seeing.

Allwarts is ranked 255,802^nd in the world and 6,751^st in the Rejected Realms for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring -22.11 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.