The Kingdom of Variland is a massive, genial nation, ruled by King Simon IV with an even hand, and remarkable for its daily referendums, zero percent divorce rate, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 2.315 billion Varics have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Stanmoore. The average income tax rate is 34.2%.

The powerhouse Varish economy, worth 236 trillion Denarii a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Beef-Based Agriculture industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is an impressive 101,989 Denarii, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.8 times as much as the poorest.

Manufacturers of biodegradable plastics have to wait for months to show evidence of organic decomposition, a flying elephant and King Simon IV share the same nickname, the Varish delegation to the World Assembly is having a hard time convincing people that international law will "pay for itself somehow...", and cyber-crime and tin-foil hat sales are both increasing at record rates. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Variland's national animal is the Wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Roman Catholicism.

Variland is ranked 289,484^th in the world and 1,115^th in Europeia for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 24.35 on the Bus Surprisal Index.