The Omnipotent Empire of The Armed Squirrels is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by The Mighty Acorn with an even hand, and renowned for its daily referendums, rampant corporate plagiarism, and otherworldly petting zoo. The hard-nosed, democratic, humorless population of 47.586 billion Armed Squirrelsians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Burrow. The average income tax rate is 85.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Armed Squirrelsian economy, worth a remarkable 8,174 trillion nuts a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 171,789 nuts, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Even secular Armed Squirrelsians are shouting "Blessed are the cheesemakers!", odysseying merchant sailors swear that they've heard sirens in the western seas, famous artwork is regularly confiscated for plagiarism, and a favorite "life hack" for gap year backpackers is to pretend to be homeless for government handouts. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Armed Squirrels's national animal is the squirrel, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

The Armed Squirrels is ranked 13,749^th in the world and 209^th in the Rejected Realms for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 4,336.4 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.